Truth time, friends. Lately, I have been feeling lost in almost every aspect of my life. I question my major everyday, have been feeling so lost as to what my purpose is in life, have been feeling like a complete stranger to myself, and have lost my way spiritually. I’m LOST. And for so long I’ve been afraid of admitting it. I was scared that being lost meant I failed. I failed at school, I failed at life, I failed at being a Christian, and I failed at just being a human (a good one).
I felt that being lost meant that my wrongs were going to forever lead to a road of uncertainty. The biggest wrong being that I told a bus driver, out of anger and being in a bad mood, that he was doing a terrible job. Yes, please, judge me, stone me, comment the meanest stuff you can imagine below. I’m super serious. I absolutely deserve it. No person deserves to EVER experience what I did to that poor man.
But after reading a post from a fellow Miamian, I realized that being lost is OK. Being lost is simply a part of life. You wouldn’t be having the epic life adventure you’re meant to be living if you didn’t get lost once in a while.
And despite the stigma, and the hopeless feelings, that come with being lost in this sea called life, there are so many good and beautiful things that come from it. You learn so much more about yourself, about your circumstances, and become stronger because of it. You discover things you may never have discovered before, like new passions and hidden talents. You find an inner strength that seemed long gone, but more than all of that, you get to grow.
And sometimes being lost is just that – growing pains. Whether you’re transitioning from one stage of your life to another, having to make a drastic change at the last minute, or whatever the circumstance may be that made you feel lost, it just means that you’re growing into someone who will be better than you were before.
I like to think of being lost as being lost out in the ocean. I’m alone, and it’s scary to not know where I am, where the nearest piece of land is, or when, if ever, I’ll get back home. But then, the always curious explorer that I am, I look up, and I look around me, and I notice a whole new world that I never noticed through the lens of fear. I get to witness the most majestic sunsets, nights where the sky is littered in stars with a bright moon watching over me, little creatures I would have never known of, and maybe a couple of small islands that give me hope and rest for my wearied heart.
Right now, being lost may seem uncertain, but it won’t last forever. You’ll get to where you need to be soon. Yes, there may be storms you’ll have to go through, and it may even feel like you’ll tip over at times, but just know that you’ll make it, and these storms don’t last forever. You’ll reach your destination, whether it be a whole new place or back home, but you’ll be stronger and wiser because of it.
Being lost spiritually and as a person was scary. It felt like I had no direction and felt like I was losing my heart for people. It felt like I was grasping at straws to get back to where I was before, not really realizing that God may want me to end up somewhere different. I didn’t realize that this may be necessary for me to grow more for me to become more of the person God has me to be. It’s scary, but what isn’t in life.
Now that I feel like it’s OK, and even a good thing, to be lost, I’m owning it. I’m lost. What am I gonna do about it? I’m going to lay back and look at the stars, fight through the storms as they come, enjoy my new fish friends, explore the mini islands as they come along, and rest knowing that someday I will get to where I need to be. For now, I’m going to throw fear and uncertainty (the dead weight) overboard. Here is to being lost but living every second of it to the fullest, for His glory.
With love always,