Stillness, or finding quiet moments of reprieve, is sincerely lacking in my life. And even in moments when I’m not perpetually moving from one thing to the next, I still can never find an opportunity to be still. To let my thoughts wander a bit. To pray and hear my Savior’s voice. To let go of fear or whatever else is plaguing my heart. To reflect and ponder and simply pause from a life that is all about the go, and not very much about the stay and wait.
One of the things that I love the most in worship songs are those beautiful seconds of no words, just the music. You’re alone with your thoughts, your emotions, your heart, and God. I always feel my most vulnerable in that place, like I’m entirely naked and God can see every nook and cranny of my broken humanity. And often He’s holding a mirror and I see it all, too. It’s small moments within the beautiful cacophony of words and lilts that I feel like I can hear God, that I find stillness and my soul can breathe.
My soul doesn’t get time to breathe outside of that place. It is constantly inundated with thoughts, actions, words, stuff, people, places, responsibilities, life, and whatever else is thrown at it. And after a while my soul can become overburdened, overwhelmed with all that I’ve put it through, and all that I haven’t done to make things a little easier. My soul is seeking a very small moment of reprieve, simply an opportunity to breathe and process. Being still, learning to let everything around me fade away and just be still, I need that.
I want to learn to be more still, for my soul’s wellbeing, for my wellbeing, and to just be in a better place with God. I need to learn to press the pause button once in a while, and look inwardly. My soul is hurting, and has been hurting for a long time now, and hasn’t gotten nearly the amount of attention as my body or my spiritual walk has, but is so, so important to my whole being. An unchecked soul can be the breeding ground for so many bad things like pride, arrogance, anger, rage, bitterness, resentment, prolonged sadness, and even depression (that’s all from personal experience). Sometimes I get really, really sad and I think that life is simply being overwhelming, but in reality that’s my soul telling me that it’s hurting.
This may seem weird to anyone who’s reading this, but your soul is a part of you, if you believe that. And being still, taking moments in your everyday to pause and reflect, to think and meditate and simply listen to that part of you that can often go unnoticed, can really help you in your day to day. Stillness has helped me to sort through my emotions, to forgive, to learn from the past, to rise up after a brutal fall and begin again. Stillness has helped me to listen to God’s voice and helped me draw closer to Him, especially when He felt so far away. Its in the stillness that I learn, thrive, and grow, and its to the stillness that I need to momentarily return to. I wrote a little while ago about calming my soul (never posted), and what was missing was the opportunity to turn everything off, to lock a door and experience quiet for a few moments.
Each day, for 15 minutes, no matter how hectic life gets or pressed for time I am, I’m going to shut everything off, close and lock everything I need to, and just be still, listening to my soul and giving myself the time to process and breathe. I don’t know what I’ll get out of it, but with everything in life, I hope it’ll be something good.
Some songs I recommend (I clearly have a Hillsong obsession lol):
Pursue by Hillsong Young & Free
Stay and Wait by Hillsong United
Sinking Deep by Hillsong Young & Free
Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) by Hillsong United