Today is beautiful October 8th, which represents another year I get to see life and live to love. I turn 21, and I’m grateful for that, especially since when I was younger I could never see myself getting to this point.
Lessons From 20
I learned a lot while I was 20. That year taught me a lot about my own heart, revealing so much of my bad character that I buried deep within, but motivated and inspired me to grow from it all. 20 taught me that I need to think a lot less of myself, and think a lot more of others and their needs. It taught me to put actions behind my dreams and goals, or else they’d always just be dreams and goals. It taught me that I need to think sometimes before I jump into the unknown, and save myself from unnecessary mistakes and burns. It taught me that I need to stop letting fear, bitterness, resentment, and anger hold me captive, but dance in the freedom that love and forgiveness brings.
20 taught me that I need to stop seeking “busy,” and that slowing down and not having so much to do isn’t a bad thing. It taught me the importance of pursuing my passions, even if they lead to dead ends. I never know what great things can come along as a result.
20 taught me to love myself more fiercely and fearlessly, ignoring and leaving behind what society and the world have to say about beauty and women’s bodies. God has blessed me with a true gift, and I want to cherish that as long as I can. 20 taught me that treating my body better and listening to its needs will always be better than listening to laziness and cravings. 20 allowed me to taste freedom, to experience some independence, and learn what earning a dollar looked like. I felt like I moved a little closer to the sky last year, finally feeling like touching the stars I’ve always dreamed of can actually be a reality.
Hoping + Dreaming
Now that I’m 21, I want to move towards something that is greater than myself, more meaningful and impactful than what I’ve done and known. I want to help more people, and put action behind that. I want to give way more time, energy, love, and money to those who really need it. I also want to grow. I just want to always become a better version of who I was.
My hopes and goals for 21 is to live well, with meaning and intentionality. I don’t want to waste time or waste my life doing things that make me miserable or aren’t contributing to someone else’s betterment. I want to be more selfless and more generous, letting my aching heart lead rather than my selfish desires. I hope to slow down more, really enjoying where God has led me rather than trying to race through life. I want to give myself more time to focus on and pursue the things that set my soul on fire. I want to learn to be more open minded to different people and their experiences. I’ve been so judgmental of and closed off to anyone’s experiences who I didn’t relate to. I hope to grow more in God, delving deeper into His love with every passing day.
I don’t want to settle for things because of fear or insecurities, but trust that there are good things out there if I take the chance to see them. I also want to think a little more before making big decisions, like buying a car, changing my major, accepting a job offer, and the list goes on. I made a lot of mistakes while 20, a lot of which could’ve been avoided had I taken a day or two longer to think it all through. But I regret none of it. I don’t regret the bad, the mistakes, or anything else. They all serve an amazing purpose in guiding me and enabling me to become a better version of myself. One day I’ll look back at where I was and be grateful for the hurts and the heartaches that have molded me. I’m grateful for 20, and I’m forever hopeful for 21.
Thanks for coming along this journey with me.